is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
