Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
