but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
