i would punch a child for taco bell
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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