is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
