yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
please don't ironically join a cult
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