These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
