I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
