You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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