i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I cannot find my penis.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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