Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
