I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
