Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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