i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
