We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm bleeding and have questions
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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