Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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