TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
