do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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