now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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