I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
