just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
