would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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