i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
