just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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