Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
