Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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