quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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