I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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