Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
