Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
