SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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