How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
