maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
