im about as happy as oj after his trial
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
