He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
