I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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