got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize