the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
