OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
