dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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