Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
