you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
