also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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