I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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