We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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