Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
