Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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