If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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