There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
