We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
