I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
