rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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