You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
