Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize