dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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