its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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