Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
