I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize