you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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