am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
