i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
