I hope mine doesn't look like that
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
