people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
