he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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