RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
