Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
