she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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