wanna go halves on a baby?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
why is half of my head shaved?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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