i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
