My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
