Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
