I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just high enough for therapy.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
