did you get engaged???
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
