I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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