"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
