some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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