you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
