So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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