grandma shit on top of the toilet
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
soo... how was my night?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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