community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
