haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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